Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown

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(269): Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown http://tfl.nu/j7bk

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(305): View more from Florida

Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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(305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that. http://tfl.nu/r17f

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

A better fuck for starters.

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(610): He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him? (484): A better fuck for starters. http://tfl.nu/qmis

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(425): View more from Washington

ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.

(206): View more from Washington

High?

(425): View more from Washington

hahahahaha turkey breast

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(425): ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector. (206): High? (425): hahahahaha turkey breast http://tfl.nu/8hm7

Replies (41) Good night (3512) Bad night (571)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

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(816): Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0tqt

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(646): View more from New York

You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.

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(646): You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine. http://tfl.nu/zb6r

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(505): View more from New Mexico

sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap

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(505): sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap http://tfl.nu/vpaq

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(626): View more from California

Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game

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(626): Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game http://tfl.nu/ygf5

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(720): View more from Colorado

Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids

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(720): Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids http://tfl.nu/b5v5

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.

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(803): I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something. http://tfl.nu/acd6

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.

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(717): Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection. http://tfl.nu/8fsy

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(714): View more from California

Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?

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(714): Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit? http://tfl.nu/0nii

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(513): View more from Ohio

While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.

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(513): While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from. http://tfl.nu/e26m

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(307): View more from Wyoming

We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.

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(307): We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xr9v

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?

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(321): Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after? http://tfl.nu/icc6

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