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Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
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