Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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