Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
