perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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