Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
