how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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