she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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