I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
