she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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