What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
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At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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