they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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