Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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