Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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