just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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