Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
