it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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