She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
