I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
