are you still at the devil's house?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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