For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
