capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
