another moral hangover. fuck.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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