So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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