haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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