every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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