Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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