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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  Thursdays are my worst days

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  my text book just quoted the cookie monster

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.

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• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  No worries I have vodka. Its always on time

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping

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