I wish I could punch you in the face.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
