i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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