Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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