I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
