Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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