just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
