He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
