ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
