Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
