...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize