I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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