I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
