She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
