is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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