At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize
