do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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