Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
