we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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