It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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