he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I could fuck to npr.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
