You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
