If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
