Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
even my farts smell like vagina
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am one with the molecules
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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