Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize