I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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