just tell him i said nine months
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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