wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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