i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
