We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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