if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
