I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
