in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
