I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
