You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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