for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
