oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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