I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize