are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
