You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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